I think I have said that in a past blog post.
Many, many blog themes have popped in my head over the last weeks. Nearly every day a thought of a blog comes to mind and I am in the habit of beating myself up over it.
Thoughts like...
"It's been so long...just forget it."
"What's your deal, Amy?"
"Fear again? Of what?"
Thinking back, I heard the word vulnerable a couple of months ago. This just might be the core of the hesitation in writing.
Vulnerable: adjective Yahoo definition.
1.Susceptible to physical harm or damage.
2. Susceptible to emotional injury, especially in being easily hurt.
3. Susceptible to attack.
4. Open to censure or criticism; assailable
Yep, numbers 2-4.
I don't do well with any of that. I admit it. Sensitive. Easily hurt. Take things personally.
Afraid of rejection?
Good grief. More layers to work through. It goes on and on. Time to turn to an encouraging word...
Vulnerability in the Bible.
1. Esther- Esther 4:9-11 came before the king in her "off time" which would be cause for death (susceptible to physical harm)
2. Ruth- Ruth 1:8-17 being separated from her mother in law, she cried openly (emotional injury)
3. Abigail- 1 Sam 25 threw herself at David's feet in humility to save her husband's life (attack)
4. Mary- Mat 1:18-23 pregnant; not by her fiance' (criticism)
Wow! These are the women who came to mind and may I say, what do I have to be afraid of? And many, many more, hero after hero in the Bible were exposed to much vulnerability; Moses, Abraham, Noah, Joseph, David, Rahab, Sarah. Hebrews 11 lists these humble humans in the Hall of Faith!
God honors a sensitive, scared, sacrificial soul of a submissive servant. As frightening as it is, I will humbly move forward. Leave the stumbles, failures, mistakes, poor choices, and procrastination in the past and press on.
Looking forward to:
the closing of 2014 and opening 2015
a wedding in January :-)
a winter snuggled under a fuzzy throw watching our favorite shows
starting up the 40 bag challenge
touching base with y'all
celebrating the small blessings
Looking forward to enjoying Him in 2015, won't you join me?
Happy New Year,
Amy
