Stinking Thinking

I am trying to get caught up on my magazine reading so earlier this week I took a pile with me to the 130 degree sauna as I am forced to sit still for 30 minutes. I read an article written by a 51 year old gal taking banjo lessons, she wants to add to her skill set. Learn new tricks because it's therapeutic. 
It brought my mind back...

For many years in recent history I only had one goal in mind; live long enough to get the boys through high school. That sums up how I felt  for about 10 years. I didn't realize how much this thought process has affected my future planning/thinking until a friend about a year ago asked me what my dreams or goals are? I realized I had forgotten how to dream. I had not dared to dream. No new tricks being tried.  I was surviving day to day.  Appointment to appointment. Laundry and meals...my only "dream" of the day. I never planned too many events during the week and sometimes just getting groceries and the basic errands would set me on the couch the next day. I played the charade well, most didn't know how sick I was; maybe because of the bling, make up, hair gel...etc. Ha! ;)  (A side note here...many, many Blessings happened during this time as I pushed through. I certainly wasn't incapacitated.)

I remember distinctly chatting with a friend that I share a birthday month with. She was turning 50, I was turning 40. She looked at me and said, "I have never felt better." I looked at her and just about bust into tears because I had never felt worse!  

When I had finally received the diagnosis of Chronic Lyme I was so relieved. Thank you Lord! There is a reason behind this misery, yay! So, let's fix it and move on. Right!  Good thing I didn't know the road ahead. This is not a 5 day Z-Pak fix. 

Anyway,  all of this to say...chronic illness messes with your head. Big time. Makes for stinking thinking and so now it's the uphill retrain.

Think about what you are thinking about!  Think less, Thank More; You can think yourself into a bad mood or you can think yourself into a good mood;  Deceived Mind - Deceived Life ~ Joyce Meyers   

Know the word and you know the truth. Know the word and you can distinguish the lies. Know the word and you know when you are off track. I get lost in my own thoughts far more often than I care to admit.

Check out this link! Great Bible verses on this subject.  
http://www.openbible.info/topics/thoughts_and_the_mind
 
And so the push forward to try new things. Blogging, who'd have thunk?   This 45 year old CAN try new things. She can renew her mind and she will. New tricks are to be had. And learning along the way.

Blessings,
Amy

P.S. Bag update!
I received a text photo of a friend that had the back of her van packed with goods to go out the door! Talk about motivation!  She asked how many bags does this count for?  She decided on 5.  Motivated me for sure! 40 bags in 40 days + added days through Good Friday
For my Bags
#9 Donation for Silent auction (yep, another one)
#10 Salvation army--clothing
#11 Salvo--more bags/purses?  wow
#12 Salvo--pans, misc unused kitchen items
#13 Salvo--unwanted gifts
#14 Second Hand store clothing
#15 Artificial Christmas Tree to friend
#16 Sweater Dresses to Friend